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Taliban to curb sales of guns to children with ‘No ID, No Weapon’ policy
Dangerous weapons only suitable for those 13 or over The Taliban has today displayed its progressive credentials by introducing a requirement for children to produce proof-of-age documentation...
View ArticleGurn control faces change
Controversy is raging in the gurning world over the kinds of gurns that should be allowed and which should be banned. The rules of gurning, which started out as speed dating for ugly people, were set...
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Riots as US runs out of bullets
At 1.36 Eastern Standard Time the United States of America officially declared that they had run out of ammo. The ensuing chaos has seen riots and looting in twelve major cities, as a bewildered...
View ArticleRepublicans urge American police to ‘shoot more poor white folks’
A prominent Republican has urged American law enforcers to senselessly murder innocent white people, to ‘free police from the fashionable accusation of racism’. Senator Jimmy Smithers, who represents...
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3D printer creates world’s first artificial serial killer
The world’s first gun-toting maniac created using 3D printer technology has been unveiled and will be released into the community next week. The synthetic psycho is the brainchild of American law...
View ArticleGun lobby calls for iPod ban to improve public safety
The American gun lobby is demanding a ban on iPods after a three-year-old boy mistook a gun for one – and shot both his parents. The youngster, from New Mexico, reportedly picked up his father’s...
View ArticleNRA study finds ‘thoughts and prayers’ infinitely more effective than gun...
Groundbreaking new research from the National Rifle Association has found that ‘thoughts and prayers’ are the most effective solution to the problem of mass shootings than any form of gun control. The...
View ArticleTrump to update US schools with sheriffs, stables and saloons
The President Trump Corporation (in association with the NRA Investments & Loans LLC) has put forward its plans for hardening schools all across the United States to make them fit for the 21st...
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